


In the lonely hour

by skullage



Category: K-pop, f(x)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Bakery, Alternate Universe - Roller Derby, F/F, Genderqueer Character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-20
Updated: 2016-12-20
Packaged: 2018-09-10 13:49:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,034
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8919496
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/skullage/pseuds/skullage
Summary: The first time Sunyoung saw Amber it was at one of her derby games. She’d just been red flagged after an opposing team member’s face had run into her elbow, her fourth penalty of the game. Ten seconds into the next jam something in the audience distracted her - a body falling down the stairs, rolling with cartoonish oomphs until they came to a stop at the edge of the barricade. When they poked their head over the top of it, they caught Sunyoung’s eye and winked, and Sunyoung felt a pull that was as intense as it was immediate.





	

When Sunyoung opens the door to her apartment it’s to the sight of a table full of desserts. Fresh, too, judging by the smell of the dough filling up the space. Little yakgwa flowers, sticky rice cakes, hotteok, manjoo shaped like zoo animals, Gyeonju bread, hodo kwaja, even a plate of hwagwaja sitting in the middle of it all. Over the last few months she’s become well versed in desserts, since moving into this apartment with its previous tenant, who is currently passed out on the couch under a pile of blankets.

Sunyoung takes her skates off from where they’re draped around her neck and moves towards the couch, overstepping clothes and empty take out containers. She pulls the blankets back and gets in next to Amber, curling around them. It’s almost uncomfortably warm in the apartment with the heater on, and Luna’s still sweating from the walk from the subway, but she gets under the covers anyway. It’s even warmer under the blankets with Amber’s body heat. It’s a thing they do. Luna only moved into the apartment three months ago but it didn’t take long for their friendship to progress to the point of snuggling. She’s aware of how gross she smells after training, but Amber reeks of pot, so she knows they won’t mind.

Amber stirs as Sunyoung starts to get comfortable, their eyes fluttering open. They always look cutest when waking up, and Sunyoung tells them so, laughing when they wrinkle their nose.

“Don’t start telling people that,” Amber says, exhaling what smells like four cans of energy drinks, “they might start getting the wrong idea.”

“Oh, right, you’re a total badass.” Sunyoung says this is english just to watch the way way Amber smiles.

“I would never have taught you that if I knew you were going to mock me.”

“No one has to know.” Sunyoung ruffles their hair. “I seen you’ve been busy today.”

“Help yourself. I made the hodo kwaja for you, but everything else was to pass the time.”

“You really don’t do well on your days off, do you?”

Amber shrugs and buries their face in the cushions. Sunyoung can’t help the fondness that surges through her.

“Should we invite the girls over? Krystal’s been begging for an excuse, and Jinri really needs to get out more often.”

Amber brightens up at that. “Definitely. And we should probably clean up the apartment at some point, right?”

Even under the smell of pot clinging to them, Amber smells like themselves - their day old sweat and the cologne they wear that was originally for Luna’s uncle until Amber stole it. It suits them, anyway.

Just as Sunyoung’s about to get up, Amber snakes a hand around her waist to bring her closer until the both of them are pressed together. It’s not unusual that they’ll find themselves in this position, and it’s even less unusual for Sunyoung to want it to progress to something more. But she’s dated housemates before and it doesn’t typically end well.

She allows herself three minutes of indulging before she entangles herself from the mess of Amber’s octopus limbs, pulling away when Amber groans and reaches after her.

“Five more minutes.”

“I need a shower.” She leaves her skates and her bag to deal with later and heads into the bathroom. In the minute it takes the water to heat up she strips down and tosses her uniform into a pile in the corner of the room. Her body is covered in bruises, fresh as well as old. The one she has from getting elbowed in the tit three weeks ago has dulled to an ugly yellow; most of them are on her stomach from getting shoved into the barricade so many times she’s lost count. She doesn’t mind them - they’re proof of the effort she puts in, how hard she plays, and the bruises she gives are always worse.

She’s only in the shower for a few seconds before the shower door opens and Amber elbows their way in. Sunyoung just moves over to let Amber under the water while she grabs the soap. It’s hard not to stare at Amber as the water cascades over their body, down their petite breasts and their boyish hips. Sunyoung snaps her eyes back up to Amber’s face, feeling a blush creep across her cheeks. Amber gargles a mouthful of water and dribbles it down their chin while pulling a face that’s intended to make Sunyoung laugh. It’s horribly endearing.

The first time Sunyoung saw Amber it was at one of her derby games. She’d just been red flagged after an opposing team member’s face had run into her elbow, her fourth penalty of the game. Ten seconds into the next jam something in the audience distracted her - a body falling down the stairs, rolling with cartoonish _oomphs_ until they came to a stop at the edge of the barricade. When they poked their head over the top of it, they caught Sunyoung’s eye and winked, and Sunyoung felt a pull that was as intense as it was immediate.

“You should try out for derby,” Sunyoung had said at the post-game party, after names and pronouns had been exchanged around the barbeque pit. “You can definitely get back up again.”

Amber had laughed at the suggestion. “I’d spend more time falling over than blocking. Also, it’s a bit violent for me to participate in.”

Sunyoung raised an eyebrow. “Really?”

“Yeah, I’m a pacifist. I prefer making love,” they said, and winked.

Despite Amber’s proclamation, they continued turning up at Sunyoung’s games for weeks, just to “watch fit girls in short skirts race around a track,” they said.

It was after Sunyoung found out that Amber had just broken up with their girlfriend that she decided to move in. Sunyoung’s lease was ending, Amber needed an extra person and had a spare room, it was perfect.

Except for the small problem of Sunyoung wanting to date them. A problem that Sunyoung has still not sorted out.

Amber turns around for Sunyoung to soap down their back, something that Sunyoung tries to make as least tenderly erotic as possible. Her nipples are hard, but she puts that down to chill from being naked and out of the way of the shower.

“My turn,” she says, pulling Amber out of the way so she can get wet, too. Under the circumstances Sunyoung would like, this would be the setup to some pretty amazing shower sex. But moving in together with someone pretty much rules out the possibility of dating them and it turning out ok. She can’t even entertain the notion of friends with benefits; she’s too far gone for Amber for something casual.

She’s resigned herself to taking her sexual frustration out in the jam. That’s why she’s so good. If she lost that edge, who knows what would happen?

Amber raises the shampoo bottle over her head and squeezes.

“Thanks,” Sunyoung says, sarcastic, tilting her head back so it doesn’t run down her face.

“Just looking out for you, babe,” Amber says.

They navigate their way around the stall, trading places back and forth until Sunyoung gets sick of being half cold and leaves Amber to the rest of their forty-five minute shower.

Sunyoung knew from the first time she saw Amber’s shaved head and tattoo sleeves, she was fucked. She doesn’t stare as she wraps a towel around herself, but oh, she wishes she was allowed to.

//

The way Amber excels at baking, Sunyoung excels at derby. She can’t find the same rush she does on the track anywhere else. Making bubble tea and working at three different restaurants in Seoul just pays the bills, but derby is what she lives for. And to have Amber cheering her on? That’s even better.

Like always, the adrenaline starts to kick in before the game starts, turning the names of the opposing team into background noise to the drumbeat of her heart.

“All right there, Luna Tic?” Qian asks, through her swollen lip from last week’s game, with a squeeze of Sunyoung’s hand.

Sunyoung grits her teeth. “Let’s fucking do this.” She looks out into the crowd - larger tonight than usual - and finds Amber, who cheers the loudest when Sunyoung’s name is called.

The game is brutal and exhilarating. As the pivot, Sunyoung scores and takes people out with equal intensity. Getting thrown onto her back causes her muscles to spasm for a minute, and probably a fresh rash of bruises she’ll get Amber to rub cream on later, but that’s the price she pays for living her dream.

Amber leads her from the circuit when she’s done her victory lap, holding her hand up to the cheers of her team members and the crowd. Their hand is a warm comfort in her own, and the expression on their face is radiant. For a minute, Sunyoung forgets about her feelings and enjoys the sight.

//

It’s the pot. She’s horny and stoned and the way Amber plays with the waistband of their basketball shorts isn’t helping. A woman moans on the tv, and that’s just making it worse. Usually Sunyoung wouldn’t complain about watching a romance movie that is basically softcore pornography, but she hasn’t had sex in two weeks and Amber’s thigh is pressed against hers. She’s too stoned to move, let alone go back to her room and jerk off, so she’s stuck in this hell for the foreseeable future.

At least they have snacks. Amber’s been cooking again. Sunyoung reaches for one on the table and misses, followed by the sound of Amber’s giggling. They’re always so much more femme when they’re stoned, despite their detachment to gender and its subsequent roles. The sound of it stirs something in Sunyoung’s stomach, as does the way they smile when Luna scowls at them.

“Here.” Amber deposits a cookie in her hand.

Sunyoung stares at it for a few seconds. “What would I do without you?” She picks the cookie apart into bite-sized pieces.

“You’d be starving and sober.”

Their hair is sticking up from running their hands through it, but it looks soft enough to touch, something Sunyoung won’t do in her current state. Amber leans towards her and Sunyoung instinctively leans back, but all Amber does is raise an eyebrow. “You really are baked, aren’t you?”

“Is it me or are your eyes extra diamond-like today?”

Amber giggles again. “Okay, time for bed.”

“Nooooo,” Sunyoung says, sinking back into the couch as if that will save her. “No bed. More pot brownies.”

Amber somehow wrestles her into bed, and in the morning she’ll be grateful, as she always is, for Amber’s unconditional support. She grabs their hand as they’re about to leave, feeling them squeeze back as her eyelids slide shut and sleep takes over.

//

“I really think you should tell them,” Jinri says, dumping the leftover coffee grounds in the bin before starting to make another coffee. They’re supposed to speak English at work, but their manager isn’t around and Jinri is so good at skirting the rules. They’re also not allowed to wear too much makeup but Jinri lives and breathes femininity and can’t leave the house without a fresh coat of foundation and eyeliner wings that put the punk rock femmes in Sunyoung’s derby team to shame.

“Whatever you say.” She knows better than to contradict Jinri’s statement when she’ll just come back with ten reasons why she’s right and everyone else better believe it.

It’s a slow day and Sunyoung has resorted to decrumbing the cake display fridge. She eyes it dubiously; these store-bought cakes are nowhere near as good as what Amber makes -- the artistry that goes into them, the expertise with which she pipes the icing, the experimental flavours she blends. No one even buys these cakes and most of them get thrown out at the end of the week.

Usually work keeps Sunyoung busy enough that she doesn’t have time to daydream about Amber, but not today. It’s one of those days where she can’t get Amber out of her head. She doesn’t even need Jinri reminding her.

Sunyoung tries to shake herself out of it by focusing on last week’s game, how she went wrong, what she could do to improve. She mentally runs through plays of derby matches she’s seen on youtube, which she watches mostly for the competitive edge and pointers, but also for the athletic girls in short skirts.

The distraction doesn’t last long. She’s wedged her body into the cake fridge to clean the bottom when Jinri calls her name and points to the front door.

“We were just talking about you,” Jinri says, and Sunyoung could strangle her, except her heart is doing flips in her chest at the sight of Amber walking into the cafe. The muscle tea they’re wearing shows off their tattoo sleeves and their biceps, toned from lifting heavy trays all day. Their skinny jeans cling to their legs and show off the shape of their calf muscles, built from skateboarding in their spare time. Sunyoung snaps her eyes up to Amber’s face.

“Hello,” Sunyoung says, and winces at her own customer service voice. “I mean, hey, what are you doing here?”

Amber all but collapses on the counter. They have to be up at three in the morning every day for work, and Sunyoung still doesn’t know how they do it. “Slow as fuck day, bosses sent me home. I figured I’d come see you. Wanna hit the skatepark tonight?”

Sunyoung leans both elbows on the counter, pushing a wayward strand of hair from Amber’s face. “Can’t, babe. I have a banquet. Three servers quit and another is sick. I can’t get out if it, sorry.”

“No, totally, I get it.”

“Was it really that slow?”

“Yeah,” Amber says, shaking their head. “I don’t think they’re doing all that well with the business. I might have to start looking for a new job.”

“Hopefully it won’t come to that. Chilsu and Jaeeun don’t deserve a failed business.”

“After everything they’ve done for me, I’m not going to leave until they tell me to.” Sulli deposits a latte in front of them and Amber winks. “Thanks, babe. You always know exactly what I need.”

Jinri makes a kissy face, and flips her hair over her shoulder as she leaves with a look that says she’s doing it for Sunyoung’s benefit.

Amber touches her wrist, playing gently with Sunyoung’s fingers absentmindedly. “I don’t know what’s going to happen to them if the business fails. I know I can get another job but they’re the ones who really believed in me from the beginning.”

“There’s nothing you can do,” Sunyoung says, relishing in the touch. “If it happens, it happens.”

Amber sighs and lets go. “I know. I think I’m just gonna head home to pick up my board. I’ll talk to you later.”

Sunyoung watched them leave with a twist in her gut and her mind more distracted than it was before.

//

The next game is even more brutal than the last. Qian loses a tooth, and Sunyoung ends up with floor burn all down her arm and a bruise on her side she knows won’t heal for a week.

Amber leads her from the circuit when she’s done her victory lap, holding her hand up to the cheers of her team members and the crowd. Their hand is a warm comfort in her own, and the expression on their face is radiant, and Sunyoung, she can’t help herself. She surges forward, capturing Amber’s lips in a kiss that’s long enough for them to know it’s intentional. She’s inches taller than Amber with her skates on and the angle is more awkward than all of the fantasies Sunyoung entertained in her head. When she pulls back, Amber’s eyebrows are in danger of disappearing into their bangs and they bring their hand up to touch their lips.

“What was that,” they say.

“I’ve wanted to do that for a while,” Sunyoung says, “since we met, actually.”

“Oh,” Amber says, dropping their hand. “Just couldn’t wait any longer, huh?”

“Are you making fun of me?” Sunyoung is acutely aware of all the people staring at her, her teammates, Qian, the people in the stands. She feels like she has a spotlight on her. Maybe it wasn’t the best idea to do that here.

“No,” Amber says, sans her usual sarcastic edge, a smile breaking over their face. “Took you long enough,” they say, and now they’re leaning forward, kissing Sunyoung in return, tasting like beer and chilli cheetos, pushing up on their toes as they pull Sunyoung down to meet them. Sunyoung could get drunk off it.

Vaguely, she hears wolf whistles and cheers, but it’s white noise to the way Amber curls a hand around her waist, kissing her deeply. When she pulls back a second time, it’s because of Qian clearing her throat, loudly and pointedly.

“We’re heading back to Amy’s, if you guys, uh.” Qian gestures between them. “Aren’t too busy.”

Sunyoung feels the blush all the way to her hairline, but it’s Amber’s hand in hers that makes her heart pound. When she glances at them, takes in their dopey smile and kiss-flushed lips, she smiles back.

“Nah,” Amber says, already leading Sunyoung away. “We have to get going. Early morning, you know? Have to get some rest. Together. In the same bed.”

Qian rolls her eyes. “Gross.”

Amber’s laughter echoes around the hall and into the night as she pulls Sunyoung along, until Sunyoung silences her with another kiss.

“By the way,” Sunyoung says, pulling back, “I figured it out. You can make cakes for my manager, since no one is buying the ones he already has. We’re doing a whole new rebranding thing.”

Amber has a sceptical smile on their lips. “Just like that, it’s all going to work out?”

“Yep,” Sunyoung says. Not even Amber’s sense of reality can deflate her optimism.

“You’re unbelievable,” Amber says, kissing her again.

“We really doing this?” Sunyoung asks, pulling back again, this time just enough to see Amber’s face.

“Yeah,” Amber says, “I guess we are.”

**Author's Note:**

> ash hardell voice Follow me on [twitter](http://twitter.com/pukkyung).


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